Primary Poll Results- Screw the Media!!

The results of the First Ever Sponge-tastic Poll:

Question: What is wrong with the presidential campaign process today?

Answer options:

-The presidential hopefuls are so fake. Who the hell are they, really? 1 vote - 11%

-Iowa is this important? IOWA? 0 votes - o%

-Crazies like Huckabee can lead whole states. 2 votes - 22%

-Women and black people?! OH NOES! 1 vote - 11%

-The media. Period. 5 votes - 55%


So there you go- the people have spoken. Specifically, a whopping 9 people. And what did they say? That the media sucks balls. Followed closely by the fact that batshit insane people with names that come dangerously close to "Huckleberry" can win whole states. The fakeness of candidates and the bigotry of the world are disturbing on the same, somewhat minor level. Interesting. Oh, and apparently people don't resent Iowa. Yay for cornfields!

I'm already sick of the 2008 election...

I really am. All of this bickering and general annoying-ness is making me tune everything out. I think Bill needs to back the hell off because he's annoying me a lot, and Obama and Hillary need to stop with the pointless, petty jabs at each other. I don't know if it's the media blowing every tiny word up or the candidates or their volunteers or who... but can it please stop? I mean they're making the Republicans look all relaxed and peaceful. The Republicans!

My dad came up with a really good idea today. Hillary and Obama should have a one-on-one televised conversation/debate: no television personality asking questions and making it all formal and boring and bringing out the good ol' talking points. No: I'm talking a face-to-face conversation which will leave them with no choice but to be genuine, because they can't get away with throwing empty talking points at each other! Maybe I should send this idea to the networks. Haha, as if they would listen. But still. I think it would be great.

So either that, or I get fully numbed and jaded by the pointless back-and-forth going on over issues I could not care less about such as whether Bill calling Obama's position on Iraq a "fairy tale" is racist (wtf?!) or who can bring "change" (that word has now lost nearly all of its meaning to me. Jesus Christ...).

So, to summarize:

-Bill Clinton, GTFO. This is your wife running for president, not you, and frankly you're ruining her campaign. I don't see Michelle Obama attacking Hillary.

-I want a televised, casual conversation between Hillary and Obama. About the real issues. No frills, no BS. Only then can we see who is truly the best candidate.

Some more points I must make:

- Edwards, GTFO now. You and your hair piss me off. Oh, and remember when you referred to Hillary as the "status quo?" Well I'm sorry dear but if anyone is the status quo in this election it is YOU. White, male, sweet Southern accent... yeah. So don't be talking.

-Huckabee: you need to GTFO too. But first shut your mouth. And after you get out, take a good hard look at yourself. And really think. Use your brain. I know this is hard, but just try to look past the bible belt. What do you see? Is it really in America's best interest that we ALL bring more Jeebus into the Constitution? Would we ALL want the confederate flag endorsed? Do we ALL think, "Oh damn, if Chuck Norris supports him then what the hell is there to doubt?!"

-Mitt Romney, you creep me out. There is something in your eyes that scares the crap out of me and I do not want you to be president. That is all.

Oh Shiz... Mike Huckabee wins... WHY?!

CNN is saying that Mike Huckabee will win the Iowa primary.

He is worse than Bush in my eyes. Because he's not even stupid in a funny way.

Does this mean America is going to Hell?

If this dude is president I will die, no joke. I can't handle that kind of crap. Another religion-obsessed crazy? I'm not a Republican but I don't want there to be any chance this guy wins.

Look at that crazy look in his eyes!



Shit.