Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Brandon Flowers and the Case of the Purple Hoodie Obsession

Since half of my blog hits come from Brandon Flowers fashion researchers anyway, I might as well help feed the curiosity further...

Also, I tried searching BFlow's now-infamous purple tiger zip-up hoodie on Google and the results were insufficient at best. People out there aren't obsessive like I am and they have no easy way to acquire all the useless BFlow-related knowledge I already have stored in my mind. So I'm here to help.
Mr. Flowers first stepped out wearing the purple tiger / zebra print hoodie sometime early 2009... I think. Something like that. It caused a huge frenzy among fans. "What IS this new piece of clothing that is NOT the pheasant feather jacket atrocity (okay it's not that bad, but it's been worn enough times, ok) that he wears constantly? he is actually wearing something new? the shock of it!"

Little did we all know, Brandon would wear the damn hoodie EVERY SINGLE TIME he doesn't wear some variation of the feathery blazer.

He wears it almost every time he gets out and meets fans after, before, and between concerts (that's not me scribbled out, I don't know who/why that is. I just found it through my BFF Google):
He wears it to schmancy celeb events. Where he meets bitchasscuntwhorefaces that need to GTFO NOW. LIKE RIGHT FUCKING NOW. STEP AWAY FROM THAT BEAUTIFUL MAN NOW PLEASE AND THANK YOU. Homewrecking bitch. Brandon, watch your back, Sienna Miller has the bloodthirsty look in her eyes and she'll rip apart your perfect little family the first chance she gets. Uhum. Where was I. JK, anyway Brandon would never cheat and be with that... thing. Moving on before I convulse at the thought.

He even wears it during once-in-a-lifetime performances with Coldplay and Bono (at the Royal Bush Hall, War Child benefit gig):

And while leaving BBC 1 studios in London with Ronnie, being photographed by them pesky paps:
Aaaand while being followed by the damn paparazzi. Poor baby, look how nervous he is with the clenched fists. You can see those evil monsters' reflections in the windows.

I'm sure he thinks he's being all clever wearing this because of the song on Day & Age, Neon Tiger. Get it?? Heh heh heh.... yeah okay Brandon, sit down.

That's one pretty neon tiger, innit? That's what I got by searching purple tiger on Google. Did I mention Google is my BFF?

Do you sense a *theme*? You don't? Well let me hammer it in your head further along with Brandon. He fucking LOVES THEMES you see. So maybe that explains this floor in concerts. And.... this. Oh yeah and this. Got it now? Thought so.

So back to neon-purple-tiger-zip-up-hoodies. Brandon always wears it the same way- under the equally-tired denim jacket of mysterious brand (edit: it's an Alexander McQueen from Selfridges- where B also got his pink Dior Homme/Hedi Slimane blazer -according to GQ), with a T-shirt under it all and tight black pants or jeans, with boots. It's the Official Brandon Flowers Casual Look, '09. Here I created a very scientific analysis of the outfit, click to enlarge and experience full effect (recommended):

Now for the head-scratchy part. Killers fans were all a-fuss over this sweater. Where is it from? Where can I buy it? It looks so very... familiar... OMFG, DUH. They sell some version of it in every single mall store in the entire world.

This is from Wet Seal:

Now H&M also has one. But similar is not the SAME, is it?

Nope. Well worry not, here is the original 100% authentic Brandon Flowers Tiger Hoodie:


It has been meticulously proven by obsessive fans to be the real deal. The strings are just right, the color gets gradually darker as it gets lower in the hoodie. All there. Now where is this exclusive rockstar piece of history from?

Forever 21.

FOREVER FUCKING 21.

Brandon, if you're really trying to fight off the gay rumors, this isn't a good place to start (JK JK I know he's not really gay you crazies, I just like to kid about that silly dandy).

And no, Forever 21 didn't create a replica to sell to die-hards. First of all Brandon isn't famous enough for that, and secondly fans found it only days after Brandon first wore the thing. And it was on a special sale online for something like $25, no less. I will say, though, that purple tiger hoodies popped up aaall over the place a while after he wore it. I'm just saying ok.

But seriously, what is Brandon doing shopping there? Was he with his wife? Did she buy it for him? I'm just... I don't understand. And it makes me appreciate him more because he's just insane, man. I love insane people.

So on any normal day, if I ever saw this piece in the mall, I would be like "blah whatever" and move on. But now it was worn by my #1 Favorite Famous Person in the World, and it was no longer just an average colored animal print hoodie. Oh no. It was suddenly the most beautiful thing in the world and I HAD TO HAVE IT. So have it I did. I promptly ordered it and here it is:

No I am not ashamed. Okay maybe I am a little. Okay a lot. I can't even explain, I just wanted it, alright? And I'm not the only one, about a bazillion Killers fans bought it too. Not that that makes it any less pathetic. Forever 21 HQ must have had a great deal of bewilderment over the sudden spike in sales of this particular hoodie.

All I can say is Brandon brain-washed me and I bought the damn thing like some Killers zombie. Here I am wearing it a la Bflow with a jean jacket. I swear i didn't buy THAT because of him- i got it as a gift from my mom's friend a few weeks ago. yes I admit I freaked out a little (a lot) now that I had the "set." But it fits horribly so no cigar. You can't really tell in the picture though.

Unfortunately the legendary hoodie is not selling online anymore. Sorry guys. Blame Forever 21, and blame me for not writing this earlier, as in half a year earlier, because I was too lazy. I guess you can go badger a Killers fan and try to buy it off of them (good luck with that) or some unassuming average teenager obsessed with colored animal prints. EDIT: This site has the original F21 description. So apparently it was $27.80).

SO that's all with the epic story of the purple hoodie. Here, a gift for lasting this long in my rambling post- a photo of Brandon as a wee 80's child. No comment necessary:
...Oh alright maybe just a few comments. Mesh T-shirt? Laser background? BAHAHAHAH. But doesn't he look just precious?

Edit: Here are some detail shots of the same type of Alexander McQueen jean jacket Brandon wears, if that's what you're here for: