Thursday, May 29, 2008


So, Cory Kennedy.

I just watched a random video of her on Nylon's Youtube channel and decided to look for some old pictures of her again. I think it was 2005 when I first saw her pop up in the Cobrasnake with her friend. They were "interns." Ha, suuure. I used to stalk that website and was fascinated by the hipsters... you know, before they started infesting every corner of L.A. Oh innocent, naive youth!

Anyway, she always fascinated me. She was (is) pretty much the same age as me. But she looked a lot older, and dressed a lot, well, if not necessarily older what with the messy hair and the messy everything, at least a lot more originally and stylishly. I just remember looking at pictures of her hanging out at exclusive 21+ Downtown LA parties, or frolicking with a 22-year-old hipster dude (Mark the Cobrasnake) around the Santa Monica beach. And I just thought, wow. I can never be that cool. I'm still not that cool. And I still, despite Nylon magazine and every other hipster-hungry media/brands' greatest efforts to overexpose her... I still think she's special.

Okay, maybe I liked her a lot more back then. The disheveled, young rebel look was intriguing to me- I had never seen anything like it before. She was only sixteen and she looked better than all the poseurs well into their 20's and 30's on Cobrasnake...

But then, you know. She got a little older. More famous and sought-after. For some reason the clothes just don't work as well as they used to.

She started pissing me off by hanging out with my luva, Andrew Vanwyngarden of MGMT. And, just, generally giving off a bit of a lame-o groupie vibe.


But I'm sure she's still pretty cool. We'll see what happens with her. She's starting to "sell out," if you even believe in the term, by promoting random products:

Her deep voice is always so unexpected. But anyways, at least she's a little real- not like people who are all like, "ohmigod! This prodcut is sooo great!" She knows she's shilling for this random thing and at least she tried to be genuine. I like the part about how the foam looks like whipped cream. That's something I would like, too. So she's still got it going on, somewhat. But we'll see.

She should stop blogging though. Not that I'm Shakespeare or anything, but, damn. It feels like she's just name-dropping (or photo-dropping?) random celebs left and right. Like, "look how cool my life is." We know, Cory! Now show us some actual opinions, por favor. Thanks.

P.S. This girl, whatever her name is, is trying to be the new Cory Kennedy. Here's another picture of her. And here. It's not gonna work, biatch.

Wednesday, May 28, 2008

Bells What?

Yesterday was really scary. I noticed since the day before yesterday (on Monday) that when I laughed, the left side of my face went higher. But I didn't really bother and just thought it was odd that I had never noticed before. Well, the next morning, I brushed my teeth and noticed that I could only spit to my left. I looked in the mirror, and literally my mouth only functioned on the left. I'm not a stranger to this feeling because my mouth has been numbed before for cavities and pulling out teeth, but um, let's just say I haven't seen a dentist recently. Also, when I tried to raise my eyebrows my left functioned normally but the right was a lot weaker. A little panic ensued, I went to my mom and she didn't really notice but she looked worried. I had had tooth ache in my right teeth for a few weeks and I assumed it was a cavity, so my mom said it might be infected and it's numbing out the rest of the right side of my face.

I went to school still a bit apprehensive but feeling assured that that was the problem. I talked to people about it, and my friends just sort of laughed at me and said they didn't notice. But I also kind of covered my mouth when I laughed hard because I could really feel only the left side going up. I also noticed that when someone yelled it was abnormally loud in my right ear. The same ear was kind of weird the night before as well. Ugh, it was very confusing but I didn't totally freak out, not even close, because 1. I had no idea what the fuck it could possibly be so I guess I was just numb to the whole thing and 2. I assumed it was probably just a problem with my tooth.

Right after school I went with my dad to a dentist my mom found through her friend. My parents fight with all of my dentists for some reason, so this is my third one, not counting elementary school. He was a weirdo and this might be pathetic but I don't like that it's a guy- he was kind of creepy and would stare a bit too intensely into my eyes. Not cool, not cool. he would also lay his hand on my shoulder and make contact too much and stuff and when his hand was in my mouth he lay his arm on my boob. I care verrry much about my personal space so that's just not cool. He is also obsessed with Israel and only plays Israeli music throughout the whole place- he also had a hearty conversation with my dad about their Israeli past and tried to force me to go with Birthright there even though I lived there, hello. But this is all beside the point.

I told him I thought I had a cavity and he asked when it hurts, and I said, well, pretty much constantly- a low pain. He looked confused- turns out cavities only hurt when you eat something cold or something. Whoops. Panic bubbles up inside again. He finds no cavities, infections- nothing whatsoever. I get frustrated when he tells me that everyone has some asymmetry in their face (ugh, I know that, but I think I know my face well enough to figure when it's acting pretty strange!). We went to schedule a tooth cleaning and I started getting teary eyed because I had no idea wtf was wrong with me. My dad told me I could go in the car and I had a kind of mini hyperventilating/crying attack. My dad came and told me to go back because there's a dentist that also studied nerves. he was much nicer, Australian, and he told me to do all kinds of stuff like follow a light with my eyes and scrunch my face. It was pretty damn obvious that my right side was extremely weak. I could scrunch my left eye but my right eye would only close. He said, yup- you have Bell's Palsy. I freaked the fuck out inside- my heart rate probably increased 100x- because I was not expecting some kind of fancy diagnosis. And I had only heard the word "palsy" a few times and could not associate what it was exactly but I thought it was definitely some kind of disease or something. He said I should go to my doctor, blah blah. So nothing whatsoever to do with my teeth.

Long story short, we ended up waiting at an emergency room at a hospital for hours and leaving late at night. they also said it was Bell's Palsy and they were all reeally nice- they calmed me down a lot. I found out it was a problem with the 7th nerve in the right side of my face, which connects the ear, nose, mouth, eye- all of that. It also makes the ear more sensitive, which is why my friend's yell sounded so loud in my ear. Possibly I had some kind of virus or something and it severed the nerve, so now it has to heal. It is most likely temporary, and will probably heal in more or less a month. The worse possible thing to happen now is permanent damage to my right eye because it doesn't close as fast as the left and it also only lightly closes so it does not have normal reflex. It's bad if it gets dried out or dust goes in. So I had to get fake tear drops- basically just eye drops- and apply frequently. I also got some perscriptions- antiviral pills and-get this- steroids. I have to take them 5 times a day for 10 days. ugh, so weird. Apparently it's for inflammation. I don't know... I just don't want to turn into a man.

But everything is fine now, I guess. It could have been SO much worse so I'm actually very glad this turned out as it has. It seemed so foreign and, believe it or not, my pathetic self was already thinking about possible death on the way to the emergency room because that was listed as one of the possible consequences on Wikipedia (I looked it up at home right after the Australian dentist mentioned the name). But it's Wikipedia for God's sake. So everything is fine. One thing I have definitely learned from this is to appreciate when I'm healthy and, just, to appreciate everything. Things can be so much worse. I saw all the people in the emergency room and I was just like, man. That is trouble. No one is beyond catching diseases, and they are so much worse than minor drama in life. I assumed (without really thinking about it) that I'll never get this sort of stuff, and then bam. That's how it felt. Life is just so damned fleeting, and precious.

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

Kanye & M.I.A

Kanye West's blog amuses me to no end...

Here is something he posted recently:

pic taken from sidebar my jacket look crazy short lol!!!!

I don't even know why but the highlighted part made me crack up. I can't believe Kanye writes "lol!!!"

Oh, and update about the crap day I had today- the make-up AP Calc test was horrible (but at least I showed up at the right time) and then I lost an event for my relay team at swim city finals. I dove off of the diving block too soon, apparently- before my teammate touched the wall. I had no idea. Ugh, this type of shit happens to me too much. I'm starting to think "I had no idea" is not an excuse. But anyways... we would have gotten fourth place in the city, but with my stupidity we got disqualified and get nothing- no metals, nothing. Nice end to my swimming career, right? When will this hell end... I'm like a magnet for chaos.

Sunday, May 18, 2008

I'll Be Back

I will continue updating after Wednesday. Sorry about the hiatus. Here's a fast update about the craziness that has been going on lately:

-I took three AP tests. I had four. I missed the AP Calc BC tests because, wait for it- I thought it was in the afternoon. I was 100% sure. Pretty pathetic, I know. And embarassing. And annoying- having everyone in my class ask me what happened. Apparently people thought I either had a freak accident or overslept. Nope, I was just an idiot! But the good news: I wrote the College Board a letter and my high school college counselor talked to them, and they're letting me make up the test on Wednesday morning. Three days from now. So that's good.

-I had decided on Berkeley, right? Well... I got an email last week, on Wednesday, from none other than Vassar College. It was a bit bizarre. It was from the representative of my area or something, and she informed me that she had my file in her office as a person she wants the admissions committee to consider taking off the waiting list. She said a "few" people would be taken off in the next couple days. Basically, she wanted me to tell her how badly I wanted to go. I said I wanted to go really badly. But in the back of my mind, I had gotten used to the idea of UC Berkeley. Again, choosing between polar opposite schools! But I was just like, I'm probably not going to get in off the wait list and I don't want to regret missing an opportunity to get into Vassar. So basically I wrote back that it was my top choice yadda yadda, but hoping I wouldn't get taken off so that I won't have to make a difficult decision like that. Well, lo and behold, I checked my email the very next day and what was there but another email from Vassar, congratulating me on being accepted to the class of 2012. WTF. I was in shock. But also more than a little horrified that I would have to make this decision. And worst of all, they only gave me one day to choose. Actually less than a day because I came back from swim city finals late, and I had to decide before 5 pm the next day. Which probably meant 2 pm for me, because of eastern time.

I was so confused. I didn't know what to do. I worried about the money- $50,000 for Vassar, $25,000 for Berkeley. Quite a big fucking difference! But my parents told me that's how much they paid for my siblings' education, and I deserve the same. Well, I wrote back saying that I accept the offer. The thing is, I still haven't retracted my Berkeley spot. Ha. Trying to elongate my decision-making time, you see. I've been reading a lot of good and bad stuff about each school in the last couple days... but I have a feeling I'm going to choose Vassar. It's a once in a lifetime opportunity, what is there to lose. Plus they're almost too good for me since I was only acepted from the wait list, which make it all the more appealing. We'll see though.

So yeah, pretty crazy. More from me after Wednesday then... see yalls then.