Recent News Headlines, From My Perspective

Hillary Discusses Bill's Infidelities - So basically what happened was that I clicked on that link, even after passing it by with a cringe on my first daily scan of Huffpo. Then the first words I saw were:

Hillary Clinton rarely discusses her marital problems, but in an interview that this morning on Christian Broadcasting Network's "700 Club" she talked about how faith had helped her through Bill's infidelities.

And then I stopped. Ughhh don't go that low Hillary, now you just look desperate. pandering to the ultra religious peeps? I know you are an atheist so stop frontin'. HA HA just kidding just kidding, chill! I'm sure it was as lovely as buttercups and sugar plum fairies but I could not go past the word "faith." So shoot me. Oh, and the accompanying picture of Bill whispering sweet nothings into Hillary's ears (whilst she stares off with glazed eyes) looks like a Viagra ad.

Oscars Apologize to Whoopi For Leaving Her Out
- huh, what the hell did they leave her out of? Eh, can't bother to investigate any further, NEXT.

Larry Craig Looks For Summer Interns - LOLZ, sucks for the impressionable male teenager that gets scoped out by Craig's lustful, squinty eyes. Why is the accompanying picture of Larry Craig at a press conference? Did he seriously hold a press conference to announce this? Um, I hope not. That would be stupid. And funny.

Hundreds Of Clinton Staffers, Volunteers Protest New York Times Story
- Huh? HILLARY staffers? First thought: WTF is wrong with these stupid people?!! Second thought (while twiddling fingers in evil manner): ohhhh yes, yes I see... this is geniosity. If Dems also criticize the NYT story, it no longer looks like this is a conservatives vs. dirty liberals sort of deal, and maybe the Republicans will stop warming up to McCain like they have. 'Cause it SCARES us libs!! We don't want 100 years of war!

Olbermann: Why Did Stewart Sink To Ann Coulter's Level For His Monologue? - STFU OLBERMANN! I HATE YOUR STUPID GLASSES AND SNOBBY/STUFFY VOICE! Uhum, sorry. I get violent when people criticize my dearest Stewie. Especially when it's for reasons that included lack of a sense of humor and general retardation.

Clinton: Watch SNL For Proof Of Media Bias For Obama - Ughhh, Hillary, why do you do this? Why do you ruin everything good that happens to you? We already watched/ heard about that segment. You talking about it as if it's an Al Gore endorsement erases like half of its effectiveness. Are you really this out of touch?

I'm already sick of the 2008 election...

I really am. All of this bickering and general annoying-ness is making me tune everything out. I think Bill needs to back the hell off because he's annoying me a lot, and Obama and Hillary need to stop with the pointless, petty jabs at each other. I don't know if it's the media blowing every tiny word up or the candidates or their volunteers or who... but can it please stop? I mean they're making the Republicans look all relaxed and peaceful. The Republicans!

My dad came up with a really good idea today. Hillary and Obama should have a one-on-one televised conversation/debate: no television personality asking questions and making it all formal and boring and bringing out the good ol' talking points. No: I'm talking a face-to-face conversation which will leave them with no choice but to be genuine, because they can't get away with throwing empty talking points at each other! Maybe I should send this idea to the networks. Haha, as if they would listen. But still. I think it would be great.

So either that, or I get fully numbed and jaded by the pointless back-and-forth going on over issues I could not care less about such as whether Bill calling Obama's position on Iraq a "fairy tale" is racist (wtf?!) or who can bring "change" (that word has now lost nearly all of its meaning to me. Jesus Christ...).

So, to summarize:

-Bill Clinton, GTFO. This is your wife running for president, not you, and frankly you're ruining her campaign. I don't see Michelle Obama attacking Hillary.

-I want a televised, casual conversation between Hillary and Obama. About the real issues. No frills, no BS. Only then can we see who is truly the best candidate.

Some more points I must make:

- Edwards, GTFO now. You and your hair piss me off. Oh, and remember when you referred to Hillary as the "status quo?" Well I'm sorry dear but if anyone is the status quo in this election it is YOU. White, male, sweet Southern accent... yeah. So don't be talking.

-Huckabee: you need to GTFO too. But first shut your mouth. And after you get out, take a good hard look at yourself. And really think. Use your brain. I know this is hard, but just try to look past the bible belt. What do you see? Is it really in America's best interest that we ALL bring more Jeebus into the Constitution? Would we ALL want the confederate flag endorsed? Do we ALL think, "Oh damn, if Chuck Norris supports him then what the hell is there to doubt?!"

-Mitt Romney, you creep me out. There is something in your eyes that scares the crap out of me and I do not want you to be president. That is all.

Guess who!

LOLZ.




Hillary Clinton should advertise this picture everywhere... oh boy. Epic winnage, as some would say.