Recent News Headlines, From My Perspective

Hillary Discusses Bill's Infidelities - So basically what happened was that I clicked on that link, even after passing it by with a cringe on my first daily scan of Huffpo. Then the first words I saw were:

Hillary Clinton rarely discusses her marital problems, but in an interview that this morning on Christian Broadcasting Network's "700 Club" she talked about how faith had helped her through Bill's infidelities.

And then I stopped. Ughhh don't go that low Hillary, now you just look desperate. pandering to the ultra religious peeps? I know you are an atheist so stop frontin'. HA HA just kidding just kidding, chill! I'm sure it was as lovely as buttercups and sugar plum fairies but I could not go past the word "faith." So shoot me. Oh, and the accompanying picture of Bill whispering sweet nothings into Hillary's ears (whilst she stares off with glazed eyes) looks like a Viagra ad.

Oscars Apologize to Whoopi For Leaving Her Out
- huh, what the hell did they leave her out of? Eh, can't bother to investigate any further, NEXT.

Larry Craig Looks For Summer Interns - LOLZ, sucks for the impressionable male teenager that gets scoped out by Craig's lustful, squinty eyes. Why is the accompanying picture of Larry Craig at a press conference? Did he seriously hold a press conference to announce this? Um, I hope not. That would be stupid. And funny.

Hundreds Of Clinton Staffers, Volunteers Protest New York Times Story
- Huh? HILLARY staffers? First thought: WTF is wrong with these stupid people?!! Second thought (while twiddling fingers in evil manner): ohhhh yes, yes I see... this is geniosity. If Dems also criticize the NYT story, it no longer looks like this is a conservatives vs. dirty liberals sort of deal, and maybe the Republicans will stop warming up to McCain like they have. 'Cause it SCARES us libs!! We don't want 100 years of war!

Olbermann: Why Did Stewart Sink To Ann Coulter's Level For His Monologue? - STFU OLBERMANN! I HATE YOUR STUPID GLASSES AND SNOBBY/STUFFY VOICE! Uhum, sorry. I get violent when people criticize my dearest Stewie. Especially when it's for reasons that included lack of a sense of humor and general retardation.

Clinton: Watch SNL For Proof Of Media Bias For Obama - Ughhh, Hillary, why do you do this? Why do you ruin everything good that happens to you? We already watched/ heard about that segment. You talking about it as if it's an Al Gore endorsement erases like half of its effectiveness. Are you really this out of touch?