Wednesday, July 29, 2009

ONTD, I Love You, But You're Bringing Me Down

Yes lovely people of Oh No They Didn't, you're bringing me down so much that you've dragged me out of my blogging dry spell.

I usually consider everyone on ONTD absolutely comic-/social-/intellectual-/insane-ly genius. But today I am disturbed because the masses at ONTD have overwhelmingly gone against my personal opinion and common sense not once but THREE TIMES. This is a travesty. Usually they at least have two-sided intense and hilarious arguments, but now it's just a million clones saying wrong, stupid stuff. Because it disagrees with me, the all-knowing one. I will not have any of this.

1. Rachelle Lefevre replaced by Bryce Dallas Howard in third Twilight film. Summit Entertainment claimed "scheduling conflict", but it turns out she was shocked to be replaced.

ONTD: They're all like "OH EM GEE I can't believe Summit (the production co. or something) did this they are such heartless assholes!! She was PERFECT and was, like, the only one that physically fit the role! And she cared about her role! HAbakBDKLFFND!!!!!"

ME: WTF ONTD, hasn't it been a million years since you were so passionate about Twilight? Like, ever since it got really annoying and we found out the film was shitty as all hell? So where is all this uproar coming from, I thought you were all indifferent. Unless you're all shams. Also, no, Rachelle was NOT that good. I'm actually very glad she was replaced and Bryce will be great in her place (as great as the shitty script allows). Rachelle just took the role too damn seriously and it pissed me off. Tell me this quote from her after the replacement news doesn't just grind on you:

This is a story, a theatrical journey and a character that I truly love and about which I am very passionate.

Uh, Victoria is like the most annoying and useless thing in this series. Why the fuck are you passionate about her. Maybe you should question your judgment. And ONTD is all "she was the only one that loved the movies and took them seriously!111" And that is a good thing how? Anyone who takes it seriously, especially at her age, is kooks. ONTD, you disappoint me.

P.S. My bias against Rachelle MIGHT be mostly the film stylists' fault. She was dressed as if she was on crack and wandered off from a film about Woodstock festival, not to mention her roots were very prominently showing. Vampires' roots don't fucking show, my grandma's dog knows that. I'm talking to you too, "blonde" "prettiest vampire ever" girl in the film. Forgot her name, she plays Rosalie. OK I looked it up- Nikki Reed. That shit ain't right. She dressed horribly too. Whoever styled this movie should be shot, is alls I'm saying.


2. Seth Rogen VS. Entourage. They're having a petty feud and you can click the link because it's too dumb to recount here.

Keep in mind- I'm biased because I have some, er, familial ties to the latter. But STILL, no one is calling out Seth for being the one who actually initiated the feud and made a big deal out of it. The right thing to do would be to wave the mention off and be the bigger man. But he had to bitch about it on E! Top Ten (seriously?). Basically he sounds like a crybaby and should shut up. But most of ONTD is siding up with him. Disappointing. I like him too, but he should just accept jokes about him the way he jokes about others. The jokes weren't even that offensive. And they give him and Knocked Up some attention again. Even Judd Apatow got it.


3. It's On With Alexa Chung

This is a very sore point because they have constantly been bashing the girl, and she doesn't deserve it. They constantly say that her show is horrible and awkward and boring and blahblahblah whenever she comes up. You know what, ONTD, when it comes to this you are all jealous bitches so STFUD yourselves please. Eesh. She is brills on the show. Finally MTV does something right and you overwhelmingly deride it? Not cool. At all. And she is still doing a greeeat motherfucking job. More about that later.

So step it up, ONTD. Your opinions are falling to the lame as shits side. Don't do this to me!! You're supposed to be the One True Voice.


bohobum said...

I COMPLETELY agree with 2 & 3
but I'm team Seth for life.

Dani said...

Waaait you read ONTD too?

bohobum said...

yea I'm on and off. I used to visit it more frequently but lately it's only been d-listed for my gossip

Dani said...

Ha my two favorite gossip sites. I still go mainly to ONTD but I visit Dlisted from time to time too. it's easier to skim through ontd whereas with Michael you have to read the whole thing to get all the brilliance. And I'm too lazy for that. I read this interview he did that scared the crap out of me about blogging- he said he's online 24/7. WTF.

Dani said...

HAHAHA wow, they actually posted a link to this on ontd:

Somehow, even though they're all making fun of me, I feel honored instead of offended.

Ashlee said...

definitely with you on this one. alexa is great.

Dani said...

Glad you agree!