Monday, March 24, 2008

Vampire Moviez

Twilight is being adapted into a film. Yes, the crappy teen lit book that is embarrassingly addicting. I will admit that I ate up the first book, BUT I did not continue with the series. I just felt like I saw all there was to see. Time to move on, etc. I read on ONTD the perfect description of the book: it's just like fan fiction. And it SO IS. But, fan fiction is oddly enrapturing so it makes all the more sense. I will say that I hated the "action" parts and I hated that Bella was "clumsy" (who the fuck is that clumsy? NO ONE. How about you think of a more realistic, possibly more interesting characteristic to define a protagonist?). But anyways, I am a sucker for romance and alluring, mysterious guy lovers and there was all of that in the book. This is really sad but I fucking loved how Edward both adored Bella and wanted to suck all the blood out of her body, at the same time. How romantic! No really, it was hot. I know you're all like "whatever weirdo" but it was. All I'll say is that I wanted a vampire boyfriend the whole time I was reading the book.

So the filming has started and the beautiful Robert Pattinson has been brilliantly cast as the beautiful Edward the vampire. ONTD'ers are all taking the piss out of him with icons with his picture that say stuff like "Do I ~dazzle~ you, Bella??" and sparkly stars all around. This will make absolutely no sense to anyone who has not read the book, by the way.

Can I say something for a second? It is really depressing me that the first book I write about on my blog is Twilight. I swear I read better books! The last three books I read were 1984, Middlesex, and The Picture of Dorian Gray, okay? And they weren't for school either. I'm not a retard! [/disclaimer]

Phew, now that that's out of the way...

Here's Robert Pattinson (Cedric Diggory in HP4, anyone?) as Edward:

He is wearing WAY too much makeup in this one. What's up with that? he's naturally beautiful! This just makes him look like a geisha, and I wish that was a hyperbole.

Here he is with the clumsy protagonist herself Bella, a.k.a Kristen Stewart.

Now this Kristen Stewart girl- I know her. She went to my middle school, only in 6th grade. I knew her when she looked like this. I know this was like a million years ago and I have no right to judge her without having ever actually spoken to her.... but I will anyway. Because I barely remember anyone that I never talked to in middle school (I tried to block out most of those horrid years from my brain anyway) but for some reason she left an impression on me. She was in my P.E. class and her locker was on the other side of the aisle sort of near mine, and she always acted like she had a stick up her ass. I was 12 years old and this was my observation, what can I say. She was sulky and mean-looking and she wasn't just shy either, because she hung out with "the" popular girls, who were these three bitchy blond girls. Oh middle school drama! Then she left to go film "Catch That Kid" (bahaha) and, well, I never saw her again. But I kept seeing her sulky face pop up everywhere in movies. She gets to make out with Adam Brody, and now Robert Patts... wtf, man? Do I sound jealous? Naww! No, but I'm not making the bitchy stuff up. She really was a bitch who thought she was all that and a bag of potato chips. Just sayin'. And then she was in the adaptation of Speak, aka my preteen-years favorite book ever. And now she's here. Man why do the bitches always win? I don't remember hating her in Speak though, so maybe she has gotten better. Highly doubtful though!!!

[More photos from the set HERE]

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